The very meaning of the word ‘support’ indicates action and the fact that we can be wind in someone’s sails or directly help them in accomplishing a set goal. In addition to being able to help someone, it also means that we have additional values, which is why providing support is an extremely important virtue. It entails that we have enough self-awareness, empathy, recognition and action to do something useful for someone. Support is directed to someone outside, but it is equally important for our inner being because every time we have the opportunity to do something good and noble for someone, at the same time we give ourselves the same values internally. Every time we support another person, we are actually supporting ourselves to develop spiritually. And that is why it is very important to be aware from which place in us we give support.
Does support come from a place of implication, social context, our empathy or experience, or is it part of a character and moral values, but also of inner boundaries? This is important to know because it also tells us where we are in our personal development; it points us to the places that are sensitive in us, to what bothers us and what we are trying to fight against, but also to the places of our growth and maturation. Support is and should always be a social value; something that every society should nurture and develop culturally. Also, every individual should recognize and develop this virtue in themselves. The vast majority of people have this ability, although they often do not recognize how they can support another person. But before you decide to support and help someone, keep the following in mind:
- Eliminate your expectations – If you have decided to help someone, do it because that person needs it at a particular moment and you are ready and think and feel that you should help, and not out of a feeling that someone needs to give you something back or reward you for your help.
- Believe in the person you are helping. If this is not the case then you better back off and say “no” because that’s perfectly fine and that’s the way it is. It is okay to be cautious and not to want to put yourself in a situation of being disappointed if you are not ready to experience disappointment or to go down that path for the umpteenth time. Sometimes saying “no” is the healthiest thing you can give yourself.
- Be grateful to have the opportunity and time to help someone. That’s a much stronger feeling than doing something good for someone. It is a feeling that is strongly transmitted to another being and later to other situations and persons. It is a feeling that is shared not only between two people – the one who helps and the one who receives help – but it also resonates with all other people with whom we continue to come into contact. Help is not giving, help is sharing.
- Learn to accept. We do not all perceive support and help in the same way. Sometimes we can have the feeling that some people are not ready for our support, see it or experience it, although we try very hard to show it. Even that is OK. They don’t have to. Honesty we have towards ourselves in the process, as well as the language in which we communicate that honesty, are important. We also feed on the food that we serve to others.